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Okay so this is my new theory I suppose you could call it. "Life is
a Piñata". Okay this is going to be hard to explain, mostly because
I'm not a very I guess articulate kind of person. Anyone who has tried to
have a serious talk with me knows I use a lot of invented words, yes some are
stolen from Monty Python but hey who could blame me, anyways back to the
theory… I'll do my best.
The reason I say life is a piñata is because well that's how it feels.
Okay to break it down a piñata is a little cardboard thingy attached to a
string that someone pulls on and lifts and lowers into an area where it can be
swung at and/or hit. Okay well 'duh yeah I know it seems redundant to
explain but it makes my point make more sense so yeah just kind of roll with
it. Anyways, so yeah that's pretty much how life feels. It's like
the God is in control of the string and he knows exactly what he's doing and
I'm like the piñata thinking (ignorantly) about how I want control that if I
were in control life would be better, well duh I'd put myself away from that
guy with the bat dirk lol! But that's totally disregarding what I know to
be true… Oh just came to thought… Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I
have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Oh that rocks! I love when scripture like…yeah…um yeah that. Sure okay so
back to what I was saying… So I get these ideas in my head about wanting
control because I know better then him apparently, psh whatever but anyways, I
was spending time in prayer a little big ago and I was telling God about these
thoughts in my head and how they go against what I know but I couldn't help but
feel like it. And I felt like God knew all along that the thoughts were
there but when I finally went to him it was like that's what he had
wanted. It wasn't wrong of me to be thinking like that it was wrong of me
to try and hide it from God. Wow, stupid much? Anyways so while I
was praying and I was coming up with this piñata theory God pretty much wrote
the ending for me.
Okay second part about a piñata, I don't care if you're annoyed yet this part
is good so whatever, anyways, so yeah okay when a piñata gets hit over and over
eventually it breaks, some are stronger some are weaker it all kind of
depends. Like this one time when I was little I got one that took a lot
of swinging and hitting before it finally broke open oh my gosh I was
tired. But that's it, that right there is what God was trying to reveal
to me. Okay what's the best part of a piñata, it sure as heck isn't
hitting it cause that's a pain in the butt, specially when it's going up and
down and up and yeah you get the point… It's when all that candy comes out, if
there wasn't candy there'd be no point in hitting the stupid thing, heck I beat
the crap out of a cardboard box anytime I want but a piñata is more than that.
So I guess if I've made no sense to you yet don't worry I'm trying my best to
wrap this up and make it all come together, just go with me for a sec.
Okay so if I'm a piñata and God's letting the devil take swings at me there
must be a reason… Well dirk God wants for me to be broken and open and
vulnerable and all that jazz so I can pour out all the good stuff he's filled
me with. A piñata with no candy is a stupid cardboard box, but worse than
that, a piñata you can't break open is a waste. I don't know if I've made
any sense yet but I'm trying. So here it goes, a final summery like
statementish thing, it'll defiantly take more than one sentence to wrap up but
whatever. Okay so I'm the piñata, God is in control, I want control
because it's hard and it hurts to get beat up by the world, but if I'm in
control I never get the full experience of God I guess in my life kinda dealio
but yeah and the devil is the batter but it's like God's letting him take some
hits to help me. So I guess being the piñata doesn't suck after
all. Thanks to that I get to pour out all God has given me and show
people I guess him through my brokenness. I dunno if I haven't made sense
yet I'm not gonna, I'm tired and I have school in the morning so I'm so outta
here~ If you're still curious message me and I'll try harder but for now
~Poofness~
oh oh recommendation…listen to the song broken and
beautiful by mark Shultz! It's good and it goes along with all that I've
just said I think I dunno… bedtime <3
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| Okay yeah it's been a LONG time since I last posted on this thingy but eh whatever. Okay so just sitting here listening to the radio I heard this song it's "does anybody hear her" by Casting Crowns and its an awesome song... but anyways, this time when I listened to it there was just this one verse that just really stood out and I dunno like struck me.
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
Oh my gosh, reality check much. Totally where I'm at, and I've been fighting Jim and Jeni about this CONSTANTLY! I don't quite understand, I don't know if it's just my stuburness and I couldn't let them be right or if I'm just now figuring this out, sad... but whatever. Wow, that verse just bam. Totally in a nutshell that's what I'm feeling. I know what is right but for some reason or other I've been fighting this. I have this desire within me, and before I always thought it was wrong... I love to be held, just arms wrapped around and just ah that embracing feeling I love it and I always thought that had to come from a boyfriend but now I'm starting to get what I think I understood before I let all these thoughts of dating back into my head it's that... God is my comforter, my embracement, my shelter... No one can love me like my God can! And by not reminding myself I make myself so vulnerable to be taken advantage of just like the girl in the song, the girl who's seeking in the wrong places... I don't want that for me, and I know God most definatly wants better than that for me. I dunno I guess sometimes it's just cool to reflect on how much God really loves us. How incredible it is to be loved by this glorious and amazing God that makes everything what it is and just wow. Mind blowing. As much as I hate to admit Jim and Jeni are right, I can't deny, Mommy and Daddy always seem to know what's best.... I don't hate to admit it all, in fact I don't even know how to begin to thank God for bringing them into my life and for teaching me all that they have. I love them so much... <3
Oh my gosh, it's the song again, how crazy is that they just played it!!! Wow that's God, undeniably lol ^__^ well have a great God filled week~
~Poofness!~
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| Merry Christmas everyone! Ah what a day. It's Jesus' birthday how crazy cool is that. So cool, we all owe Jesus so much and celebrate him on this day, oh praise God, God is good- ALL the time. Been dealing with a lot but eh, still dealing so yeah.... Anyways, soda detox started today....It's hard. I threw away all the empty cans in my room to help ease temptation but yeah... I know there's surplus out in the garage and it's hard to not..okay just not going to think about it. It's a good thing. Especially since I have a race tomorrow... YAY the anual HO HO run. Oh so much fun. Though traditionally you're supposed to run through the snow...um... yeah but it'll still be awesome. Good time to start soda detox too, need to be hydrated and ready for tomorrow. I went out for a little jog today (yes in the cold and rain >_<) and my ankle bothered me quite a bit but not enough to slow me down. I'm counting on a 26 something tomorrow. I ran 9.66 miles today (stopped at the half way point to let tyson out) but it was nice. I must say it was a good run. Running is without a doubt great for spending quiet time with God. Except for the jerk drivers on Hill honking, that was stupid but whatever i'm over it. So pray for Tegan and me tomorrow as we run out in the cold and for me on a sprained ankle >__< for the HO HO run. Going to cry though because the moment I finish is the moment Cross Country is officially done. Sad but happy moment. Take it for what it is, my whole life is about to end and rebegin, but I know not to be worried because God knows the plans he has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm so I'm cool...no reason to freak he's got my back. Okay I'm lying but just a little about the whole I'm not worried I am a bit anxious... Who could blame me. Whatever okay um shower? yeah! Lol, I'm stinky, cold, and wet....oh praise God for showers!!!!!
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| Ah it's Christmas Eve! What a wonderful time of year, so much going on lately. Too much for one blog! Been dealing with a lot of both good things and bad but God is good nonetheless. Totally fell last night at Outback (wasn't my fault the floor was slippery and the chair had no grip so yeah) totally embarassed and um yeah definatly in pain, my ankle is killing. But anyways, oh so I've proposed a deal with Tim...I won't drink soda as long as he doesnt eat chocolate...the first bite he takes will be the first sip i take... have not heard back from him but we'll see. Not much else going on in the weird little world of MEGaN just dealing with some stuff. Well I'm going to get back to listening to music so yeah... Poofness, and to all a great Christmas- The MEGaN | | |
| Everyone had better have a good Chrstimas because I said so! Lol, talk to you laterness~ Love you people! God Bless
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